Dell Axim x50v

What is Dell?
What is a PDA?

Although the x50v isn't exactly the piece of shit that I was expecting (it is, after all, a Dell) it most certainly is a disappointment. Only from Dell could one receive more than he was anticipating, yet still be disappointed. This plastic brick was certainly worth what I paid for it on Ebay, don't get me wrong, but I pity the fool who pays retail for it. The x50v's good looks, perfect size, rubber hand grips, and crisp screen promise so much more than it delivers. It's horrible implementation of a horrible operating system makes for one of the most frustrating experiences an end-user could suffer. This is the whore of PDA's - looks great, costs just-over-right, but disappoints in the sack.

What is good about this lump? Just look at it! I wet myself just pulling the plastic off. And the VGA screen has almost none of the pixelation that the usual PDA screen suffers (until you fire up Internet Ex-fucking-Splorer - more on that in a minute). The cradle is a wet-dream come true, holding the unit at just the right angle and heavy as a glass bong. My only gripe is with the power button - I personally prefer power buttons on the side where I can activate them with my left thumb. Minor detail that is. Clearly, the brains responsible for the outside of this unit got their shit together.

The turds responsible for the software, on the other hand, should be dragged out into the street and shot. This is not entirely Dell's fault, as Microsoft wrote the operating system. But Dell did make the decision to use Windows Mobile 2003 SE, and not something else (Linux?), so they are responsible for all the fucking annoyances, bugs, and "undocumented features". Also, while HP and Mio have improved on the worthless OS by adding third-party software to the unit, Dell pisses on its customers by including demos! What the fuck?!? That's like saying "We know this sucks, but we're too shit-brained to really do anything about it".

The hand-writing recognition software recognizes English handwriting like I would recognize fucking Chinese handwriting. You want an N: that's easy! Draw an H! But what if you want an H? That's easy too- just draw an N! The letter F has to be by far the easiest letter to draw, as every fucking T, S, and K returned an F! That's exactly what it had me saying out loud each and every time it happened. The librarian had me forcibly removed after only 15 minutes of "typing".

Microsoft's idea of an office suit is like Jackie Chang's idea of a business suit: nice and pretty and so packed with bullshit features that it does nothing right. You want to open Excel spreadsheets? Great, just drag them on over from your PC. When you open them on the Pocket Piece of Crap you find that all your graphs and functions are gone. No big deal, because you don't really need that stuff on the go... But wait! Don't even think about opening them once again on the desktop: Activestink has actually converted the motherfucker to PocketExcel format and Big Bad Desktop Excel can't read that!

PocketWord is no better than PocketExcel, but on that subject I'll bore you not. No, lets discuss PIE: Pocket Internet Explorer. With it's built-in WiFi and bluetooth I was just itching to get this baby online. And itching. And fucking itching some more. I could not get PIE to pull up a webpage despite the fact that the router is about 3 meters from the toilet and I was showing a perfect signal. So I said fuckit and tried to connect via bluetooth to my N-Gage. Now, I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I do know how to make a wireless connection. The damned x50v had managed to baffle me like my Fedora box never has. I was getting impatient fast. So I shoved the Axim back into it's cradle and connected via my Win XP Virtual Machine running in Fedora. Got online instantly. Only to discover that PIE interpolates each pixel in each image to four times its original size on VGA devices. I cannot begin to describe the outcome. Some dipshit dumbass idiot in Redmond managed to make Pocket Internet Explorer the single worst fuck-up that has yet to blame Microsoft on its "About" screen.

You remember the slutty little blonde that you'd smoke pot with while skipping school? The Axim reminds me of her. Great to look at, even better to fondle, yet I wouldn't want to live with it. That's too bad- its looks and the hardware specs promise so much more. With no fucking brains in the box, though, the Ax is just a money pit waiting for the end user to throw third-party software at it. All in all, Dell's x50v was worth the cardboard box it came in. But just barely.

Software that I use:

  • PDAC Hebrew localization software (Garbage, loaded with bugs. Every version is worse than it's predecessor.)
  • Microth Claviature (Great soft keyboard.)
  • Microth InPad (Best soft keyboard ever, even for Hebrew. Very similar to handwriting recognition software.)
  • Resco Explorer (Great software, horrible customer support.)
  • WebIS Pocket Informant (Great program, great forums.)
  • Tillanosoft Softmenu (Excellent, simple program.)
  • Tillanosoft PocketTweak (Does all that is necessary.)
  • Ilium ListPro (Best. Software. Ever.)
  • Yadabyte TomeRaider3 (Unpaid for, I suffer the 1:5 page loss. I don't think that this program is worth $30.)
  • Phatware Phatnotes (Not really all that useful now that I have ListPro.)
  • Two Stunads Spacetime (Very good graphing calculator. Very generous developer, as well.)
  • Spb Diary (Very good Today Screen plugin. Only one that works well with Hebrew.)
  • Spb Weather (Very nice, integrates nicely with Diary)
  • Card Export II (Never got it to work. Not once. Tech support did try very hard to help, however. I should have asked for a refund, though, as the $12 went to waste.)
  • HaaliReader (Great text reader, too bad it does not support UTF-8 and therefore won't work with Hebrew)
  • CabInstaller (As I install all software from cab files, this is great.)

What is Dell?
What is a PDA?


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